Is Your Bedtime Routine Destroying Your Sleep?

The Sleepless Struggle

You toss in the bed, attempting to get comfortable for what feels like the millionth time in the last 10 minutes, secretly wondering what time it is while also fighting the urge to look at the clock. Because if you look at the clock, it’s over. If it’s too close to your rise time, then there’s no point in trying to get back to sleep.

You’ll have to drag yourself through the day, surviving on willpower and lots of espresso. If it’s too far from morning, you may lose all hope that you’ll ever get to sleep tonight. Then you’ll be in the same situation: surviving on willpower and espresso.

Everyone has a rough night of sleep every now and then. But if you…

routinely struggle when it’s time to catch some Zzzz’s or
constantly feel tired during the day
know your bedtime routine could use some improvement

This article is for you. We’re going to cover:

Why Your Sleep Matters
What the Average American Does Every Night Before Bed (and why you should be different)
How Your Current Bedtime Routine Could Be Negatively Impacting Your Sleep
The #1 Action to Take Today to Improve Sleep Tonight
How to Create a Bedtime Routine that Works for You
My Personal Bedtime Routine

Why Your Sleep Matters

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” This quote came from an executive and co-founder of a multi-billion dollar wellness company. Like most high performers, she had massive goals and looked at sleep as a rate-limiting step in her greater ambition of changing the world’s health on a global scale.

While I admire her appetite for achievement, her method of getting there (pushing her body to the brink of irreparable damage) needs a complete overhaul. Yet, it’s a mentality that many high performers have adopted. Wellness is considered a luxury, while success and reaching the top are the preeminent goals—even at the expense of one’s health, relationships, and, ultimately, happiness.

Your sleep matters, and you can’t afford to ignore it. Here’s why:

Brain Health: Studies suggest that sleep plays a role in clearing beta-amyloid plaques from the brain. Chronic sleep deprivation can increase the risk of cognitive decline (specifically Alzheimer’s). (1)
Cellular Support: When you’re sleeping, your body is repairing damaged cells and tissues. Chronic poor sleep interferes with this process and can lead to premature aging at the cellular level. In fact, telomeres shorten faster in people who regularly sleep less than 6 hours a night, which accelerates biological aging. (2)
Immune Support: Sleep supports immune system function and health. Poor sleep can make you more susceptible to catching the sniffles (or the stomach bug, which nobody wants).
Skin Health: Do you want skin that stays youthful and firm? You need deep sleep to release growth hormone, which supports collagen production. When you consistently have terrible sleep, it’s a recipe for wrinkled, sagging, dull skin.
Stress Response: Poor sleep can also interfere with your stress response. You may not be able to process well, which can impact decision-making, irritability, your mood, and even your appetite, causing you to eat more.
Decreases Longevity: Studies show that regularly sleeping less than 7 hours a night is associated with a higher risk of mortality. (3)
Chronic Disease: You increase the risk of chronic illnesses like heart disease, cancer, diabetes, stroke, and hypertension when you aren’t getting enough sleep.

Other Reasons to Prioritize Your Sleep

You’re a high performer. You have a lot to do in a day. You don’t have time to feel sluggish or struggle through that strategy session because you didn’t sleep well.
You also have no time to be sick in bed with the flu. Bad sleep increases the risk of getting sick.
The world needs your impact. Suppose you shorten or otherwise dampen your life because you didn’t do something simple like prioritize your sleep. In that case, it’s not just you who will suffer. You will also impact all the people and lives you touch every day.

Your Bedtime Routine: The #1 Factor Impacting Your Sleep

Barring any medical issues that have gone unaddressed, the bedtime routine is the needle mover for most people when it comes to sleep. And everyone has a bedtime routine. Whether it’s healthy or not, you likely have a pretty set sequence of events you partake in on most nights before you hit the sack. If you’re like the average American, your bedtime routine involves technology. Do any of these resonate with you?

General Screen Use: 90% of Americans reported using technology in the bedroom in the hour before trying to sleep. The under-30 crowd was even higher at 96%. (4)
Social Media: 55-60% of people spend time on social media apps like IG, TikTok, X, and Facebook before sleeping. The average time spent is 30-45 minutes.
Videos and TV: Nearly 48% of adults watch streaming services like Netflix, YouTube, or cable TV before bed. About 80% of young adults (ages 18-34) have binge-watched before bed, leading to later bedtimes.
Work and Business: Around 35% of people check work-related emails or complete tasks on laptops right before sleeping.
Video Games: Roughly 25% of people under 30 play video games within an hour of bedtime.

How Screens and Technology Can Impact Your Sleep

Screen use before bed is not just common; it’s pretty prevalent. But keeping screens in your bedtime routine is not without consequences. Here are just a few ways this nightly ritual can impact your sleep and your overall health:

Blue Light Exposure: Blue light exposure from screens right before bed can suppress melatonin secretion, delaying your body’s readiness for sleep by 1 ½ to 2 hours.
High Stress: Checking your business email before bed at night is associated with higher levels of stress, which can make it difficult to fall and stay asleep.
Anxiety: It is now well-established that social media use is associated with higher levels of anxiety and depression. Doom scrolling right before bed can raise cortisol levels and interfere with sleep.
Poor Sleep Quality: Adults using screens before bed spend less time sleeping than those who don’t. Additionally, notifications or vibrations from phones interrupt sleep for 40% of people.
Promotes Disordered Sleep: Routines that don’t support consistent, good-quality sleep can lead to more serious sleep issues over time. It could cost substantial time and money to fix this later.
Low(er) Energy: All of this can lead to low energy the next day. Even if you feel like your energy is okay, your normal meter may be “off.” What if you’re functioning at a 6/10, thinking it’s normal, but you really could be at a 10/10? What could you do with that extra energy?

While the average person is totally okay with all this, we know you’re far from average. If you’re a high performer, you’re already finding ways to separate from the middle of the pack and hold yourself to a higher standard than the rest of the world. And there’s no shame in that.

The #1 Action to Take From This Article

So, if your nightly bedtime routine includes lots of screen time, catching up on work emails, bingeing on social media, watching your favorite shows, and generally staying up way too late, let’s fix it. Your number one action to take is this: Limit Screen Time Before Bed.

Ideally, you’re not on a screen 1 to 2 hours before bed. If that feels unrealistic for where you’re starting from, shorten the time frame. You could start with disengaging from all screens 10 to 15 minutes before bed. This will prepare your body for sleep (which is something you should be doing for a good night’s rest) and also help you turn your brain off.

High performers are notorious for going at full speed all the time. Giving yourself space at night to unwind, take off the multiple hats you wear, and focus on relaxation will likely be a welcome reprieve after a busy day.

How to Create a Bedtime Routine that Works for You

If you’re used to spending the night cozied up with your phone or laptop, you might be wondering, “What can I do that doesn’t involve a screen?” Lots of things. The goal is to do something you enjoy that also helps you unwind and get into a chilled-out, restful state as you near bedtime. Here are a few ideas to get you going:

Reading: Grab an interesting book, a sleepy herbal tea, and your favorite comfy PJs, and enjoy. Bonus: A study found that 42% of participants who read a book before bed reported better sleep compared to 28% of non-readers (5). Just steer clear of any content that will keep you up at night (I avoid reading business-related material at bedtime because of this).
Journal: Writing in a journal can help you clear any unresolved emotions from the day, making it easier to drift to sleep.
Deep Breathing: Try box breathing exercises or relaxation breathing to unwind and reduce stress.
Meditation: Practicing mindfulness and gratitude before bed can help ease your mind. Guided meditation apps like Calm or Abide can be helpful, especially if you’re a beginner.
Stretching: Research indicates that regular stretching is associated with a lower risk of death, independent of other forms of exercise (6). Daily stretching before bed can also relieve muscle tension, promoting relaxation and deep, rejuvenating sleep.
Bath or Shower: Research shows that a warm bath or shower before bed supports body temperature regulation, which signals to your brain that it’s time to rest. This practice bolsters a number of sleep markers, including sleep latency, efficiency, duration, and quality (7).
Get Creative: Using an adult coloring book, drawing, painting, or writing are all forms of creative expression that can support sleep. Creative activities like these can help refresh your mind, improve your mood, reduce stress, and encourage neuroplasticity (your brain’s ability to adapt and grow).
Have Sex: There are many wellness and longevity benefits to safe sexual activity, and better sleep is definitely one of them. Sex releases a hormone mix that promotes relaxation, lowers cortisol, and encourages emotional intimacy and connection – an antidote for anxiety and mental exhaustion.

There are really no rules to what you include in your bedtime routine. Just make sure that it involves something you enjoy (otherwise, it’s not sustainable) and that helps you unwind from the day.

What My Bedtime Routine Looks Like

My bedtime routine has changed with the seasons of life. When I had tiny babies, the routine was (drumroll please): nurse the baby and go to sleep. I was that exhausted. No bedtime routine is needed. I would lie down and be knocked out in a matter of moments.

I have more margin these days, and my nightly winddown is something I very much look forward to, as our days are pretty busy. I usually put the kettle on around 8:00 to make a cup of Tulsi Tea. I love their Original and Sleep tea.

From there, I usually light up some beeswax candles and run a hot bubble bath infused with essential oils and Epsom salt. I love to relax and read to transition from a busy day. A few nights a week, Dr. J and I will use the sauna, which is super relaxing and supports the body’s natural detox pathways. We’ll catch up on the day together or read.

Stretching and myofascial release are next. Often, I like to turn my brain off in the evening, so I love to use the guided stretch classes from StretchIt. They have 10 – 15-minute sessions, which is perfect for unwinding tension without a huge time commitment. If I’m feeling particularly stiff, I’ll also use my mini Theragun to ease any knots.

I journal regularly, as it helps me process the day and leave unresolved emotions on the pages (and out of my head). I also like to jot down any to-dos or tasks for the next day so I’m not thinking about them when it’s time to sleep. Lastly, I close my day with spiritual time, often reading my Bible and praying.

I’d love to hear from you. What’s your bedtime routine like? Is it supportive of sleep, or do you see areas for improvement? Are you currently doing any of the things on this list? What are you most excited to try?

Article Summary

Your sleep is an essential aspect of your wellness and longevity routine that you can’t afford to ignore.
Your sleep is connected to critical organs and systems like your brain, immunity, stress response, longevity, and more.
Everyone has a bedtime routine, whether it’s healthy or not.
Your bedtime routine plays a critical role in preparing (or not preparing) your body for sleep.
On-screen activities before bed can significantly compromise your sleep, even increasing stress and anxiety right before bed.
The #1 thing you can do to improve sleep and your bedtime routine is to limit screen time before bed
Replace screen activities with something you enjoy that helps you unwind and promotes rest and relaxation.