The holidays are near and whether you dread this time of year or you put up your Christmas tree on November 1st, we all want to navigate this season with as much grace and ease as possible. And nothing robs your peace like having your boundaries steamrolled or slogging through the season with “barely there” energy. So, let’s get ahead of it. 

In this article, I’m sharing 3 ways to protect your energy and boundaries so you can save your sanity and create memorable experiences (that you’ll look back on with joy – or at least not absolute seething anger or regret). 

Before I go any further, for those who are struggling with loss during this time of year, I know that the holidays can be especially painful. I just want you to know that you’re seen and perhaps what I will share is most important for you as you maneuver through this season. 

Why This Matters for High Performers

High performers are firing on all cylinders 24/7/365. These high capacity, high achiever types are highly productive, constantly on the go and juggling multiple (often major) responsibilities. If you know one, they can seem like superheroes. 

But if you are one, you know there’s a fine line between building the dream and crashing and burning while doing it. Many high performers tend to operate by walking right on that fine line – pushing to the very edge of their limits if not going beyond to burnout. 

This is why the holidays are so important. It’s a time that, if used strategically, can allow you to reset and recalibrate. 

If not used strategically, the holidays will likely leave  you drained and running on empty as you limp across the finish line into the New Year. Let’s not do that. Let’s create a season that is intentional and meaningful.

Re-Evaluate Your Traditions

Your first challenge is to evaluate your current traditions and if they still align. There are so many people who would love to embrace this time of year, but they actually dread it because they believe they’re obligated to participate in traditions they hate. 

Whether it’s crossing multiple states to spend Thanksgiving someplace you’d rather not or hoping to find an excuse to  avoid that one holiday party you get invited to every year – an acknowledgement of what’s working and what’s not is essential. 

This doesn’t mean you have to take an all or nothing approach.  If it doesn’t align to remove yourself entirely from certain events, maybe you can simply spend less time. The important thing is to think about what you want to create.  

Too often we’re taught to ignore our feelings or sweep them under the rug for the sake of (false) peace. This is a losing game. Important Reminder: Your opinion about how you spend your time matters and that doesn’t change just because it’s the holidays. 

But somehow we’ve come to believe that advocating for ourselves or expressing our desires is somehow selfish or wrong. Not so. It’s actually a healthy way to set boundaries and take ownership of our experience of life. 

Once you’ve thought about what would light you up, it’s time to have the conversations. If you’ve done things a certain way for a long time (or perhaps, maybe forever) it may be important to sit down and talk with the relevant parties about your desire to make changes. 

I chose to do that many years ago when Isaac and I were spending Christmases everywhere else but in our home. Either we were at his parents’ house for the holiday or we were at my parents’ house. 

This was fine until we started having children and traveling during one of the busiest times of the year with 2 young kids (when I actually needed a truly restful holiday) was not working for me. We sat down and talked about it and agreed to spend our Christmases at home, but we would invite grandparents to spend time with us as well. 

It worked beautifully for all of us and now we’ve developed our own family traditions that have made this time of year so much more special. This wouldn’t have happened if Isaac and I didn’t have that conversation.

Reflection: Rather than complaining about what you don’t like or dread about the coming holidays, how can you create something to look forward to?

Mind Your Energy

If the goal is to recharge during the holidays (and I highly recommend you do so), stewarding your energy will serve you well. Our physical energy gets the most attention – because, who wants to wake up and feel like they’re dragging through the day? No one. And it’s important to protect it with things like good sleep hygiene and healthy nutrition. 

But your mental and emotional energy is just as important and can definitely impact your physical energy. 

Just like there are health habits that promote or deplete energy, there are tasks and activities that do the same. 

You want to fill your days as much as possible with the things that energize you and delegate, outsource or avoid those that drain you. It’s no different during the holiday season. 

When you create days and weeks that are filled with more energy depleting activities than those that are energizing, you’re setting yourself up to feel weary and burned out. Use this time of year to double down on the things that you love and help you feel recharged. 

Do you love quiet moments? A good jigsaw puzzle, a riveting read by the fire? A deep conversation with a close friend? Baking a special recipe? Or does excitement and novelty energize you? Maybe you’d love to see a theatrical performance or organize a festive holiday dinner with your friends. 

Reflection: Think about what would feel energizing or restorative this holiday season and plan to create plenty of space for those things. You don’t need a reason. You deserve it. 

Keep It Balanced

We all know that the holidays can be a season of  overindulgence. Whether it’s drinking too much, staying up too late multiple nights in a row or overeating – it can take a toll on your energy and overall health.  I believe that all overindulgent behavior is a symptom of a physical or emotional need that isn’t being met. 

Sometimes it’s a high stress situation like the deadline you know you’ll miss, the big client that doesn’t renew or the tax notice you received in the mail. Other times, it’s more mental and emotional. 

For some, this time of year stirs up complicated feelings of loneliness, regret or grief. 

Reflecting on the first two points –  re-evaluating your traditions and minding your energy – are helpful for getting in tune with what you actually want and need. 

Because if you have to drink all night to get through Thanksgiving with Uncle Ben,  perhaps a change of plans is needed. 

Or if you know that holiday parties are the ultimate temptation for eating too many sweets, take a page out of my playbook: Try showing up to the party full. If you’ve already eaten (versus walking in the door famished), you’re much less likely to overdo it. 

If your goal is to prioritize your health (and I assume it is) then establishing some guardrails going into this season is key. It’s not the time to abandon your exercise routine or eat whatever crosses your path. 

Yes, there’s space to indulge in a healthy way. We love to do a massive charcuterie board on Christmas morning and it’s filled to the brim with the most premium meats, cheeses, pastries,  chocolate and more. But we’re not indulging every Saturday in December because it’s Christmastime. 

True wellness is feeling the freedom to indulge if you’d like to, without going off the rails. 

Because you know that what you’re doing 80% of the time in your health routine balances everything else. 

Conclusion

This time of year can truly be rejuvenating instead of a season full of busyness and overwhelm. This is your encouragement to create what will bring you the most joy and fulfillment. 

I’d love to hear from you. What are you doing to protect your energy and boundaries this time of year? How do you ensure that the season is fulfilling? What is the most challenging for you? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!